While Michael Myers may get all the glory, we're taking a look at the man behind the legend - John Carpenter - and the illustrious career he had in the wake of his cultural milestone, Halloween. Carpenter's work behind the camera may only be overshadowed by his work in the recording studio, as he's produced some of the most iconic film scores of the past 50 years and provided multiple generations with the soundtrack to their nightmares. Here is every John Carpenter film ranke

It's hard to believe it's been over 30 years since a little black and white indie comedy from New Jersey tattooed the names Jay and Silent Bob onto the cultural zeitgeist forevermore. But with writer/director/podcaster Kevin Smith mythologizing his youth once again in his latest film, The 4:30 Movie, we thought we'd take this opportunity to see where it ranks amongst the rest of his catalog by ranking all of his movies from Best to Worst. Well, almost all of his movies. Haven

While Nicolas Cage has become something of a mythical living meme machine, it's easy to forget the dude has some legitimate gems under his belt buried in his ever growing filmography. These aren't the "so bad, they're good" list of the most unhinged Nicolas Cage experiences (although it's hard to post a list of Nic Cage films and not even mention Vampire's Kiss or Face-Off); but instead these are The Best Nic Cage Films of All Time. Seriously. Honorable Mention: Leaving Las V

The final group in our 2022 Year in Tiers recap finds the absolute best of the best, industry standards we'll hold up for future generations to be measured against for years to come. These are the icons. The legends. Like 15 time Hot Dog Eating Champion and the renowned World Record holder for downing 76 hot dogs in 12 minutes - these are the indomitable, Joey Chestnuts of film. #6. Terrifier 2 Yet another instance of a sequel magnifying everything great about it's predecesso

Simply based on regular season statistics, Chris Paul is one of the greatest point guards to ever play in the NBA. But he's never been the league MVP and his playoff record is stunningly dismal. Like this tier of movies, Chris Paul is great. But just a step down from the very best of the best. #35. White Noise Noah Baumbach is one of my favorite screenwriters working today and his latest film may be his most ambitious feature yet. Rather than the subdued, character driven ind

Our most densely populated tier in 2022 is a collection of perfectly average, moderately enjoyable, entirely serviceable content. Like take for instance, Jim Gaffigan. He's fine. He's nobody's favorite comedian but when it comes to stand-up, you can certainly do a lot worse. So enjoy this plentiful bounty of Jim Gaffigan level entertainment. #67. Devotion It's really hard being the OTHER film about fighter pilots in the year of Top Gun: Maverick. And weirdly enough, "Hangman"

One tier above the Worst Films of the Year, we find our decidedly bad movies that still have their occasional moments of entertainment sprinkled throughout. Which is why this bad but not terrible tier is named after SNL C-lister, Chris Kattan. #89. Aftersun This may be a little too low on the list but honestly, I'm just so tired of this kind of slow-burn arthouse tragedy porn. It's such a bore watching silhouettes sob in the reflection of a big box television playing glitchy

On the whole, 2022 wasn't the best year for movies. From tent-pole franchises to indie horror pretenders and lackluster award hopefuls, the year was mostly full of underwhelming output. But while the majority of our 2022 recap resides in the middle tier, these were the bottom of the barrel embarrassments that will haunt you until the end of your days. And even though I'm as tired as you are of hearing about it, there was no more embarrassing moment in 2022 than Will Smith's i

#13. Halloween Resurrection As weird as it is, this was actually the first Halloween movie I ever saw and honestly, I thought killing off Laurie Strode in the opening 15 minutes was pretty badass. It showed that absolutely no one was safe and that Michael was bigger than just his weird sibling rivalry. But looking back at it, the movie's an absolute train wreck in every other aspect and feels as dated as anything you could possibly drudge up from the early 2000's (including S

There hasn't been a filmmaker as distinctively intellectually stimulating as Jordan Peele in quite some time. And in mirroring his...

While he may not be a household name like many of his early VHS generation contemporaries, Paul Thomas Anderson is still one of the greatest filmmakers alive today. And even though he didn't get his long overdue Academy acknowledgement last night (fuckin CODA), we decided we'd still like to honor the phenomenal visionary the best way we know how - by assigned arbitrary rankings to incredible works of art in a sad attempt to spark conversation around actual films instead of th

The Top Tier in this Year's recap is dedicated to the best of the best, unimpeachable standard of quality set by fashion icon - Dan Flash. These are the industry gold medalists that all of entertainment should aspire to and can be priced at easily over $1000 because of how complex their tapestry of filmmaking artistry has been woven. First up is a sequel to the third remake of a 40 year old slasher movie... #9. Halloween Kills While David Gordon Green's 2018 re-quel garnered

Listen, I mean no disrespect to Kelly Rowland. She's an incredibly talented and beautiful young woman. She even made me giggle a few times in the critically adored Freddy v.s. Jason. But next to Beyonce, we ALL pale in comparison. This tier is dedicated to her and all the runners up out there not quite dynamic enough to flourish on the grandest stage. #33. Those Who Wish Me Dead Taylor Sheridan's latest throwback, neo-western thriller finds Angelina Jolie protecting a young b

The Middle Tier finds the inoffensive, middle of the road films that can best be described as average or slightly above. Fine. Like a Hershey Bar. There have been so many improvements on the candy bar at this point that a simple chocolate bar pales in comparison. It's still chocolate, it's just not anything to get all that excited about. It'll float around in the candy jar until all the better options are taken. #59. The Tragedy of Macbeth Maybe it's just the apple+ logo that

The Next Tier finds us with the bad but not entirely terrible films of 2021. If you're desperate enough, you can find some redeemable qualities in these titles - not unlike the music of Limp Bizkit. It's not perfect by any means but be honest, they've got a few songs that can get your head nodding here and there. #78. Coming 2 America After his long overdue return to the SNL stage, I was so ready for the Eddie Murphy revival. But Coming 2 America is a flaccid PG-13 follow up

Season 2 of COVID-19 had me watching a shit load of movies. More than I ever have in any one year. I'll say it, TOO many. And yet there were so many I didn't even bother with. Jungle Cruise, Red Notice, F9, other movies that don't star the Rock...but these were the worst movies I actually took the time to finish. Unlike Venom 2. I turned that shit off right away. Anyways, this is the bottom tier - the Big Ol' Motha Fucking Duffle Bags of Shit. #100. Malignant I'm not a huge J

With Jordan Peele's take on Candyman finally hitting the big screen and reboots, re-quels, re-imaginings and remakes no longer considered a hate crime against the horror genre - here are our nominees for the Top 10 films that could benefit from a modern day update. #10. Phantasm directed by Gareth Evans starring Logan Marshall-Green as Jody Thomas Jane as Reggie Noah Schnapp as Mike Doug Jones as The Tall Man Don Coscarelli's 1979 cult classic has all the makings of a horror

As the Fourth of July weekend approaches, we've decided to celebrate our Independence Day by spotlighting our country's two biggest exports - war and entertainment. Here are the Top 10 intersections of War and Film. Also, gotta add that Thin Red Line, Full Metal Jacket, and 1917 were our honorable mentions - all bad ass films in their own right but this top 10 is absolutely stacked. #10. Team America: World Police Nothing cuts down to inane absurdity of post 9/11 war on terro

With Father's Day upon us, we've gone and archived the Top 10 Film Fathers of All Time. There are dozens of TV sitcom dads to choose from (I don't know if I could even pick my favorite of the 4 Modern Family dads tbh) but this list is strictly MOVIE DADS ONLY. And no Darth Vader doesn't count, he went on a tyrannical galactic reign before he decided to keep the Emperor from murdering his own son. #10. John Ritter as Ben Problem Child While Problem Child is definitely the most

As 2023 is set to bestow upon us a sixth Scream, fifth Evil Dead, second Nun (which is like the ninth movie in the Conjuring universe I think...), tenth Saw, and fifth Exorcist movie - I figured now was a good time to revisit our list of the Top 10 Horror Sequels of All Time. And I gotta mention also, I was incredibly close to bumping out 28 Weeks Later for Terrifier 2 but I'm gonna let it sit for a while and see if I can avoid any recency bias I may be experiencing. But it's