3 Musketeers is all fluff. Don't get me wrong, you'll still eat it. But only after all the other candy options have been exhausted.

Anybody else miss the bygone era of trashy straight to video horror movies like Uncle Sam, Jack Frost or The Wishmaster? More often than not, just seeing the threatening VHS box art and imagining what the movie might be about was more gratifying than anything that was actually in the movie itself. But as bad as the movies often were, there was still some enjoyment to be found in watching something you probably shouldn't be. These are the bad but not terrible, entertaining eno

Our top tier this year is the best of the best, cream of the crop, most precious of accolades - The Hollywood Handshakes. Sure, you may win a technical challenge or even be this week's star baker, but that shit gets handed out every episode. Hollywood Handshakes - those are reserved for the highest of achievements. Even if they do sound vaguely pornographic for those uninitiated with the Great British Baking Show... #10. The Cyclic Reckoning by Suffering Hour If there was a g

Eli Manning was a very good NFL quarterback. The dude won two Superbowls and did so beating one of the best quarterback / head coach duos of all time in Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. TWICE. But he's always going to be in the shadow of his older brother Peyton. He's good, but not an all time great. This tier is dedicated to Eli. #39. GLOW ON by Turnstile While it would have been easy for Turnstile to churn out another collection of ass-whooping mosh pit anthems for their third

We've classified the middle tier of this year's recap as the Ramen Noodles. Not bad, filling, and easy to consume - these are the albums that wont inspire much fanaticism, but they'll keep you from starving if you can't afford something with a little more flavor. #76. Crawler by Idles Idles returns with a quick recovery effort in the intentionally understated "Crawler", which contains much less pomp and circumstance than last year's " Ultra Mono " but is also undeniably drab

The next tier in our 2021 recap is composed of albums that aren't necessarily terrible, but are definitely far from perfect. If you're desperate enough you can find something to like about them but for the most part, this is subpar entertainment. Much like the Fast and Furious franchise. There are worse ways to kill 2 hours but sometimes watching a Hot Wheels movie made for UFC zealots isn't all that bad. #106. Let The Bad Times Roll by The Offspring The Offspring have always

The final tier of our 2020 recap is the tip of the mountain top, best of the best, undisputed heavyweight champions of the world. The standard all future generations will be measured against, I give you - The Seinfelds. #10. Inlet by Hum The most improbable comeback story of the year, Hum returns after a 22 year gap between albums and it's as seamless as you could possibly imagine. Fuzzy sick riffs on top of fuzzy sick riffs, "Inlet" is music to get high and head bang yoursel

The 4th tier finds our good, not great entries - The Runners Up. Nothing to be ashamed of, these records are just missing that extra punch to put them over the top. Like Arby's. Love Arby's. But it's not like anyone on death row is asking for their last meal to consist of a Beef N Cheddar. Curly fries maybe... #40. Columbus by Terminal Crush Grey Gordon (of Kill Surf City, Wickerwolves, Parasitic Twins, Karloff, and well...Grey Gordon) debuts his latest musical endeavor with

In the third tier we find the average, or slightly above records that couldn't quite separate themselves from the middle of the pack. Much like 90's WWF Superstar The British Bulldog, these albums never really achieve greatness but are serviceable middle card entertainment nonetheless. #72. Welcome to Bobby's Motel by Pottery There's an undeniable dance-ability to the kinetic acid funk rhythms on display here, just a disappointing lack of substance underneath it all. Especial

The next tier in our 2020 recap is composed of bad, yet not terrible efforts. If you're desperate enough for some entertainment you'll likely find redeemable qualities scattered throughout but deep down in your gut you know what you're consuming isn't fully on the level. Much like the early quarantine bingeworthy docu-series, these are The Tiger Kings. #100. May You Be Held by SUMAC The further SUMAC strays away from it's raw industrial debut and continues to sink into improv

With the unrelenting shitshow that 2020 bestowed upon us, it's hard to really pinpoint the lowest of lows. But for me, I think I'll always remember the night when our country took a break from mismanaging a global pandemic and began burning from coast to coast in a cultural civil war while the commander and chief instigator turned off the lights and hid under his bed like a little kid waiting for mom and dad to come home and save him from the closet monster. Now I always like

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