While Michael Myers may get all the glory, we're taking a look at the man behind the legend - John Carpenter - and the illustrious career he had in the wake of his cultural milestone, Halloween. Carpenter's work behind the camera may only be overshadowed by his work in the recording studio, as he's produced some of the most iconic film scores of the past 50 years and provided multiple generations with the soundtrack to their nightmares. Here is every John Carpenter film ranke

It's hard to believe it's been over 30 years since a little black and white indie comedy from New Jersey tattooed the names Jay and Silent Bob onto the cultural zeitgeist forevermore. But with writer/director/podcaster Kevin Smith mythologizing his youth once again in his latest film, The 4:30 Movie, we thought we'd take this opportunity to see where it ranks amongst the rest of his catalog by ranking all of his movies from Best to Worst. Well, almost all of his movies. Haven

Finally, here we are at the mountain top of the absolute best of the best, gold medal, icons of industry, living legends. The Tom & Gregs of 2023 Movies, I give to you, the Disgusting Brothers: #7. The Holdovers Seasoned television writer David Hemingson, who's worked on everything from Black-ish to American Dad to Just Shoot Me to The Adventures of Pete and Pete, made his feature length debut with this endearing tale of 3 outcasts and their unlikely bond formed over having t

Before any of you Tony Romo fanboys get your panties in a bunch, I'm of the opinion that if the Cowboys owner Jerry Jones hadn't waited until Tony's spine collapsed to give him some protection with a decent offensive line, Romo would have had a much different career. It's just that by the time Dallas stopped spending all of their resources on receivers and finally drafted some stellar lineman, the damage had already been done and Dak Prescott was there to swoop in and take th

As an adult, the instances where I find myself eating cereal are so few and far between that I can really only go for my absolute favorites when the opportunity presents itself. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Apple Jacks. Golden Grahams. Fruity Pebbles. Frosted Flakes. I'd NEVER take regular ass Corn Flakes as my #1 pick in the Breakfast Cereal Draft. They're perfectly fine. You won't starve. But nobody's picking Corn Flakes over anything else. These are the perfectly fine, but not a

Even though it was a commercial failure and essentially lead to the collapse of Sega as a formidable rival to Nintendo and Sony in the console wars, the Dreamcast wasn't ALL bad. Crazy Taxi was dope. And the Dreamcast also gave us the birth of NBA2k, arguably one of the greatest sports video game franchises of all time. So that's why we've chosen to categorize these lackluster films, that aren't complete failures - but still kinda suck - in the Sega Dreamcast Tier. #80. Some

Welcome to the Bottom Tier in our 2023 Year in Tiers Recap - The Gas Station Toilets

While Nicolas Cage has become something of a mythical living meme machine, it's easy to forget the dude has some legitimate gems under his belt buried in his ever growing filmography. These aren't the "so bad, they're good" list of the most unhinged Nicolas Cage experiences (although it's hard to post a list of Nic Cage films and not even mention Vampire's Kiss or Face-Off); but instead these are The Best Nic Cage Films of All Time. Seriously. Honorable Mention: Leaving Las V

The final group in our 2022 Year in Tiers recap finds the absolute best of the best, industry standards we'll hold up for future generations to be measured against for years to come. These are the icons. The legends. Like 15 time Hot Dog Eating Champion and the renowned World Record holder for downing 76 hot dogs in 12 minutes - these are the indomitable, Joey Chestnuts of film. #6. Terrifier 2 Yet another instance of a sequel magnifying everything great about it's predecesso

Simply based on regular season statistics, Chris Paul is one of the greatest point guards to ever play in the NBA. But he's never been the league MVP and his playoff record is stunningly dismal. Like this tier of movies, Chris Paul is great. But just a step down from the very best of the best. #35. White Noise Noah Baumbach is one of my favorite screenwriters working today and his latest film may be his most ambitious feature yet. Rather than the subdued, character driven ind

Our most densely populated tier in 2022 is a collection of perfectly average, moderately enjoyable, entirely serviceable content. Like take for instance, Jim Gaffigan. He's fine. He's nobody's favorite comedian but when it comes to stand-up, you can certainly do a lot worse. So enjoy this plentiful bounty of Jim Gaffigan level entertainment. #67. Devotion It's really hard being the OTHER film about fighter pilots in the year of Top Gun: Maverick. And weirdly enough, "Hangman"

One tier above the Worst Films of the Year, we find our decidedly bad movies that still have their occasional moments of entertainment sprinkled throughout. Which is why this bad but not terrible tier is named after SNL C-lister, Chris Kattan. #89. Aftersun This may be a little too low on the list but honestly, I'm just so tired of this kind of slow-burn arthouse tragedy porn. It's such a bore watching silhouettes sob in the reflection of a big box television playing glitchy

On the whole, 2022 wasn't the best year for movies. From tent-pole franchises to indie horror pretenders and lackluster award hopefuls, the year was mostly full of underwhelming output. But while the majority of our 2022 recap resides in the middle tier, these were the bottom of the barrel embarrassments that will haunt you until the end of your days. And even though I'm as tired as you are of hearing about it, there was no more embarrassing moment in 2022 than Will Smith's i

#9. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation With the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre's co-writer, Kim Henkel, returning to direct this reboot (remake? sequel? I don't think it knows what it is...) you'd think there would be a little more thought put into the proceedings. But nope. It's obnoxiously loud and overacted, foolishly relegating Leatherface to serving as a cross-dressing henchman while Matthew McConaughey and Tonie Perensky take on the primary villain roles. An

#9. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) I'm so eternally grateful that horror has been able to crawl out from under the daunting black cloud of Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes production company. They were absolutely hell bent on hollowing out every horror property imaginable into a soul-less imitation of it's former self in the 2000's and even though Jackie Earle Haley does his best to try and overcome the atrocious re-design of Freddy Krueger in this mind-numbingly dull remake, t

With creator Don Mancini taking back the creative soul of his murderous killer doll in the form of a hit SYFY series, aptly titled Chucky, we've decided to look back and rank every film in the Child's Play franchise. #8. Seed of Chucky After writing every entry in the series, Don Mancini finally steps in as the director for the fifth entry in the series and while it's kind of endearing to see Chucky's creator seemingly single handedly keep the series alive - this movie is a f

#13. Halloween Resurrection As weird as it is, this was actually the first Halloween movie I ever saw and honestly, I thought killing off Laurie Strode in the opening 15 minutes was pretty badass. It showed that absolutely no one was safe and that Michael was bigger than just his weird sibling rivalry. But looking back at it, the movie's an absolute train wreck in every other aspect and feels as dated as anything you could possibly drudge up from the early 2000's (including S

The Top Tier in this Year's recap is dedicated to the best of the best, unimpeachable standard of quality set by fashion icon - Dan Flash. These are the industry gold medalists that all of entertainment should aspire to and can be priced at easily over $1000 because of how complex their tapestry of filmmaking artistry has been woven. First up is a sequel to the third remake of a 40 year old slasher movie... #9. Halloween Kills While David Gordon Green's 2018 re-quel garnered

Listen, I mean no disrespect to Kelly Rowland. She's an incredibly talented and beautiful young woman. She even made me giggle a few times in the critically adored Freddy v.s. Jason. But next to Beyonce, we ALL pale in comparison. This tier is dedicated to her and all the runners up out there not quite dynamic enough to flourish on the grandest stage. #33. Those Who Wish Me Dead Taylor Sheridan's latest throwback, neo-western thriller finds Angelina Jolie protecting a young b

The Middle Tier finds the inoffensive, middle of the road films that can best be described as average or slightly above. Fine. Like a Hershey Bar. There have been so many improvements on the candy bar at this point that a simple chocolate bar pales in comparison. It's still chocolate, it's just not anything to get all that excited about. It'll float around in the candy jar until all the better options are taken. #59. The Tragedy of Macbeth Maybe it's just the apple+ logo that